Whenever you’re in a relationship, you should know that communication is vital and the lifewire of any relationship. Once communication starts dwindling, your relationship starts falling apart.
I once received a message from a reader, (named Stella) who sent in this heat breaking message, and i shared it below, with her consent:
“i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend, right from College days, and in all honesty, i love him, i just can’t explain how much i love him, and how i find his company more interesting.
But there is something sad that is currently happening to our relationship, and that is lack of communication. I noticed that whenever we are together, there’s always silent between us, and most times, he sigh as if, my company is boring. I feel it’s boring, and i want to do something drastic that will save me from heartbreak.
When i brought up the matter with him, he says he loves me, and appreciates the silent. Says whenever am quiet,he loves me the more, but i know and have heard him sigh often whenever we are together. So the last few time we spend, it’s in group, where he spent most times with his friends.
Am thinking of breaking up this relationship, before he breaks my heart. I love him, i really really do love him that much, but i think if i break things up with him, it would be a little bit easier for me.
He will be going for summer break next week, should i pop up the suggestion, that we break up and remain friends before he leaves? Am confused.”
You can denote from the tone of Stella, that she loves her boyfriend, and her Boyfriend loves her too, But the silent whenever they are together, is crippling the relationship, and she’s thinking of breaking things up with him, so that he won’t be the one to do the breakup. You can see how powerful, lack of communication is in a relationship, and this is the main reason why i decided to write this article, to help you always stay active and find meaningful discussion topics with your Significant other.
Clear communication is vital for any healthy relationship, a relationship that lacks communication certainly won’t grow and will soon dissolve. The most frequent concern that I hear as a marriage counselor is that couples are struggling with communication and expression.
One or both of them (either the Man or the Woman) is not feeling heard or understood in the relationship. As you know, frustration and resentment builds whenever one person feels like they aren’t heard or important in a relationship. Poor communication can be taxing on any relationship.
Below are some tips for keeping your lines of communication open and working well:
- NEVER compare (especially to your mother/father, past girl/boyfriends),
- Describe what you see, hear or feel, DO NOT throw blame at your partner,
- Be specific, avoid “never” and “always,” DO NOT globalize,
- Listen to your partner, DO NOT assume you know or mind read,
- Listen to your partner, DO NOT plan what you are going to say,
- Be open minded, there may be several right ways, DO NOT condemn,
- Listen to understand your partner, DO NOT focus only on what you want to hear,
- Make eye contact and pay attention to your partner, DO NOT zone out,
- Let your partner finish speaking, DO NOT interrupt with “that reminds me of,”
- Allow your partner to row his/her own boat, DO NOT give advice unless asked,
- Say what you mean and mean what you say, DO NOT leave partner open to misunderstandings,
- Be considerate, DO NOT simply disagree to disagree or say I do not like your way because it is not my way,
- Be authentic, say what you mean, DO NOT agree just to keep the peace,
- Stick to the issue, DO NOT dump a huge pile of past issues on your partner,
- Speak for yourself, DO NOT speak for your partner,
- It’s Okay to make mistakes, choose happiness and harmony over being “right.”
What do you think?
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